When I don't take the medication, my writing is extraordinary and my words paint the page in beautifully exquisite strokes and re-reading it will make you feel alive and ignite fireworks inside you, like those Fourth of July shows you watched with your family when you were little. When I don't take the medication, my parents are scared of me, and I feel like I can't breathe and I can't speak properly and every awkward minute seems like the end of the world and fills me with a terrifying sense of impending doom. So now I take the medication and now I cannot write.