"i didn't particularly want to live much longer than twenty. life seemed rather daunting. life seemed like too long a time to have to stick around,a huge span of years through which one would require to tap dance and smile and be great and be happy and be amazing. i was tired of my life by the time i was sixteen. i was tired of being too much, too intense. too manic. i was tired of people and i was incredibly tired of myself. i wanted to do whatever amazing things i was expected to do and be done with it. go to sleep. go to a heaven where there was nothing but bathtubs and books."