I was rereading Wiki's description of Akasha and she has to be the most amazing vampire. I can definitely relate to her.
Rice describes Akasha as a lovely young woman who was "almost too pretty to be truly beautiful, for her prettiness overcame any sense of majesty or deep mystery." Underneath her physical beauty, Akasha is a fundamentally dark, empty, nihilistic person with no sense of morality, ethics, or human compassion; her actions are almost always based on her insatiable need to fill her own inner emptiness.
Well fine, don't you do what I want you to, don't degrade yourself the way I do, because you don't depend on all the shit that I use to make my moods improve.
Dimmed down bedroom lights, better stay quiet everyone's tired, my minds forgetting my mothers advice, you never play with knives and alcohol, it's so sad I'm everything to her, but to me I'm nothing at all.
I find that life is easier when it's just a blur, with no details to confuse who or what or where I was.
I am somewhat looking forward to school in a few hours. It might force me to give up the reckless lifestyle I've reclaimed over the vacation. I am dreading going back to the impossible perfectionism that school brings out of me but I suppose that's better than being riotous. On the bright side, I'm not craving a drink. Go me.